"It was a dark and stormy night..."

This iconic line from Paul Clifford by Edward George Bulwer-Lytton is the inspiration behind one of the most unique literary contests in history. The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest commenced in 1982, when San Jose State University Professor Scott Rice decided to hold an candid writing competition with short entries. Thus began "a whimsical literary competition that challenged entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels." Since then, tens of thousands have tried their hand at writing the best loser of an opening line. The contest has received publicity from The Wall Street Journal, People Magazine, Time and the BBC, to name a few. Entries are due April 15th, with the results posted by mid-June. Check out the 2010 winner and runner-up and start thinking of your own atrocious opening lines.

Winner
"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss - a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."
Molly Ringle
Seattle, WA

Runner-Up
"Through the verdant plains of North Umbria walked Waylon Ogglethorpe and, as he walked, the clouds whispered his name, the birds of the air sang his praises, and the beasts of the fields from smallest to greatest said, 'There goes the most noble among men' - in other words, a typical stroll for a schizophrenic ventriloquist with delusions of grandeur."
Tom Wallace
Columbia, SC

In case you haven't read Paul Clifford recently, here is the complete opening line:
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents - except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
Paul Clifford by Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

To learn more, visit the official site of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, where all information for this post was found.